here without you...

she left me when i just found the courage to tell everyone about my love. the first month was nice... but to end the month like this isn't what i expected. so here i am, sad, devastated, without her, missing her..

she said i treat her best. i was the most caring boyfriend she ever had. i was willing to do anything for her and her friends were all jealous about her. but she had to end it even though it was a dream come true for me. to her, she felt guilty, for not loving me as much as i do. i don't mind. as long as she love me, more or less, i don't mind. then she said that she can't seem to get that elevated feeling... that happiness which i was feeling... that high which i was in... maybe i expressed myself too much until she felt that guilt... she only wanted to be fair to me. it was hard for me to accept, but hey, it is not the end of the world right... i feel that i still have a chance...

so what about those promises? we've planned so many things... the keychains we wanted to make... the photos we wanted to take in the studio... the celebrations we planned together... the trips for me to penang... i thought we were going strong... but it seems that i was blinded. i just can't understand why she wanted to leave me, since we have already planned so much. or rather why would she want to plan so much when she knew very well that she wanted to leave me? :( i'm really sad and confused, but for the time being, i just want to chill...

everything, since the beginning of the month, seem so unreal... seem so unbelieveable... i'll let things settle down... think about the past month... and carry on with my life as it used to be, lonely, longing, waiting for her.